Some people think that gay marriage, or homosexuality in general, is a sign of the decline of morals and civilization. I think the true decline of morals and civilization is when someone, anyone, rejects a form of love in favor of hatred. Homosexuality is not simply about sex; it is about caring for and loving someone of the same sex. It is about wanting to spend your life with them, possibly raise a family, share goals and interests, grow old together. These are basic human desires regardless of how you label the human having them. In sharp contrast, anti-gay people want to deny these basic desires to a group of fellow human beings. In many cases they are willing to go so far as to choose hatred and bigotry for a group of people over love and support for their own family members, even their own children.
Looked at from another angle, would this ever be accepted as moral or civilized. Heterosexuality is not simply about sex; it is about caring for and loving someone of the opposite sex. It is about wanting to spend your life with them, possibly raise a family, share goals and interests, grow old together. These are basic human desires regardless of how you label the human having them. In sharp contrast, anti-straight people want to deny these basic desires to a group of fellow human beings. In many cases they are willing to go so far as to choose hatred and bigotry for a group of people over love and support for their own family members, even their own children.
Ridiculous sounding isn’t it? If you believe in science than you have to accept that people are born the way they are born; male, female, gay, straight, black, white, tall, short, fat, thin. These are things we may try to hide or change about ourselves but they are things we can’t change (without serious scientific interventions). If you believe in God then you have to ask yourself, “who am I to decide that God made a mistake?” because you can’t have it both ways. Either he created us all, or he didn’t create anything. Even more to the point, we should all be looking to ourselves to improve the things we can change; our attitudes towards others, our kindness and generosity, our setting aside of judgments of others. I am not a religious person by any stretch of the imagination, but what exactly happened to “do unto others as you would have others do unto you”? For any of those people wanting to deny something to someone else or worse, physically hurt them, have you ever stopped to ask yourself what you would want to have happen if the tables were turned? Perhaps you should start.
Friday, December 17, 2004
Friday, October 29, 2004
dusting off the soap box
Wow, for almost 20 yrs I have been done with ranting about Gay rights. Being gay is just one aspect of me after all. When I was younger I was much more in your face about the whole thing, it was THE identifying label I wore. If you didn't like it you could go to hell, you could certainly remove yourself from my life - which I told my family. As I got older it became less of an issue. It was like being white, or brown haired, or Californian - all things I was born with. Every year things seemed to get more accepting. Plus, my circle of friends was more varied and no one had an issue, gay or straight.
The HUGE issue of gay marriage came along, and truthfully I have never been a follower of organized religion, so if some church doesn't want to recognize a gay marriage then that's fine with me. If I decide to join a church, I'll join one that has an accepting - truly Christian or truly inclusive - philosophy. I do, however, think it is important to be afforded the same civil rights as the other taxpayers in my country. I do not think the government has any business pushing the religious values of any one group on to the citizenry of the whole country.
I may even take that a step beyond equal rights for gays though. Personally, I think that even people that do not form a sexual relationship can form a lifelong intimate relationship. Those people, regardless of gender make up, should be allowed to claim domestic partnership as tax payers sharing a household and domestic responsibilities. But I digress...
The reason I am writing today is because I just read an article Nigerian President Backs African Bishops that states, when discussing the concept of gay-marriage:
"Such tendencies are clearly unbiblical, unnatural and definitely un-African," Obasanjo said Wednesday. Obasanjo, who describes himself as a born-again Christian, is a Baptist.
I am so tired of people preaching to us about how our "choice" is unnatural. I no more chose to be gay then I did to be white, or female, or have brown eyes. I was born this way. Some people are born "straight" and we sure don't have any issue or global debates over that being unnatural. (I won't go into unbiblical because my personal opinion is that if there is a God, his word has been corrupted by the human, mostly male, interpretation of it. It doesn't exist in a pure form, no matter how much they wave/shake a bible at me.) Who made straight "normal" and gay "unnatural"?
I heard someone on the radio the other day try to actually meld the theories of creation and evolution to their own ends in an argument against gays. In the end it obviously was based on religion and not fact. It went something like this... Gays are unnatural because they serve no purpose in evolution. Male and female have the sole purpose of procreation, so if gays aren't driven by the need to procreate, they offer nothing to evolution therefore must be unnatural. The glaring flaw for me in that argument is that, well actually there are many:
1. not procreating is part of population control, a NATURAL form of checks and balances - more should try it but that's just my opinion
2. Many gays DO procreate, one has nothing to do with the other really
3. many primates participate in homosexual activity, not just humans
4. many "straights" are unable to procreate - at least until science caught up and they don't seem to have an issue with this "unnatural" form of procreation. If God had meant them to procreate, wouldn't he have made them fertile? Aren't they messing with Gods master design? Why is it that they only spout scripture when it's to their advantage?
5. Many "straights" choose not to procreate either because of political reasons, a lack of maternal/paternal instinct, or from a desire to not pass on a genetic "flaw" that they think might be harmful to future generations.
And what about that line "and definitely un-African,"? What in the hell does that mean? Africa is a continent, a country, a race of people, a culture, just where in all of those various entities do you get to speak for the whole of X? As an American I say it is definitely un-American to ... have green eyes. Oops, sorry, you are unnatural because all people should have BROWN eyes, like me. I am American, and I am natural (not really cause I'm gay, we're just illustrating a point) therefore I speak for and represent ALL Americans - and all Americans are JUST LIKE ME! Except they aren't.
Whether you believe in God or not you should at least be able to give the credit where credit is due, and it's not with you. Either Nature made ALL of us, or GOD made all of us. But either way, You are not the boss of Me!
I feel better now.
The HUGE issue of gay marriage came along, and truthfully I have never been a follower of organized religion, so if some church doesn't want to recognize a gay marriage then that's fine with me. If I decide to join a church, I'll join one that has an accepting - truly Christian or truly inclusive - philosophy. I do, however, think it is important to be afforded the same civil rights as the other taxpayers in my country. I do not think the government has any business pushing the religious values of any one group on to the citizenry of the whole country.
I may even take that a step beyond equal rights for gays though. Personally, I think that even people that do not form a sexual relationship can form a lifelong intimate relationship. Those people, regardless of gender make up, should be allowed to claim domestic partnership as tax payers sharing a household and domestic responsibilities. But I digress...
The reason I am writing today is because I just read an article Nigerian President Backs African Bishops that states, when discussing the concept of gay-marriage:
"Such tendencies are clearly unbiblical, unnatural and definitely un-African," Obasanjo said Wednesday. Obasanjo, who describes himself as a born-again Christian, is a Baptist.
I am so tired of people preaching to us about how our "choice" is unnatural. I no more chose to be gay then I did to be white, or female, or have brown eyes. I was born this way. Some people are born "straight" and we sure don't have any issue or global debates over that being unnatural. (I won't go into unbiblical because my personal opinion is that if there is a God, his word has been corrupted by the human, mostly male, interpretation of it. It doesn't exist in a pure form, no matter how much they wave/shake a bible at me.) Who made straight "normal" and gay "unnatural"?
I heard someone on the radio the other day try to actually meld the theories of creation and evolution to their own ends in an argument against gays. In the end it obviously was based on religion and not fact. It went something like this... Gays are unnatural because they serve no purpose in evolution. Male and female have the sole purpose of procreation, so if gays aren't driven by the need to procreate, they offer nothing to evolution therefore must be unnatural. The glaring flaw for me in that argument is that, well actually there are many:
1. not procreating is part of population control, a NATURAL form of checks and balances - more should try it but that's just my opinion
2. Many gays DO procreate, one has nothing to do with the other really
3. many primates participate in homosexual activity, not just humans
4. many "straights" are unable to procreate - at least until science caught up and they don't seem to have an issue with this "unnatural" form of procreation. If God had meant them to procreate, wouldn't he have made them fertile? Aren't they messing with Gods master design? Why is it that they only spout scripture when it's to their advantage?
5. Many "straights" choose not to procreate either because of political reasons, a lack of maternal/paternal instinct, or from a desire to not pass on a genetic "flaw" that they think might be harmful to future generations.
And what about that line "and definitely un-African,"? What in the hell does that mean? Africa is a continent, a country, a race of people, a culture, just where in all of those various entities do you get to speak for the whole of X? As an American I say it is definitely un-American to ... have green eyes. Oops, sorry, you are unnatural because all people should have BROWN eyes, like me. I am American, and I am natural (not really cause I'm gay, we're just illustrating a point) therefore I speak for and represent ALL Americans - and all Americans are JUST LIKE ME! Except they aren't.
Whether you believe in God or not you should at least be able to give the credit where credit is due, and it's not with you. Either Nature made ALL of us, or GOD made all of us. But either way, You are not the boss of Me!
I feel better now.
Wednesday, September 22, 2004
Will of the people?
Wow. I've been gone a while. Got too busy to write.
I was emailed an interesting quote today, in light of our current political climate. I truthfully have not run out to verify it but I thought it was interesting.
"Naturally, the common people don't want war, but after all, it is the leaders of a country who determine the policy, and it is always a simple matter to drag people along whether it is a democracy, or a facist dictatorship, or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship. Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. This is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same in every country."
Hermann Goering, Hitler's Reich-Marshall, at the Nuremberg Trials after WWII
I was emailed an interesting quote today, in light of our current political climate. I truthfully have not run out to verify it but I thought it was interesting.
"Naturally, the common people don't want war, but after all, it is the leaders of a country who determine the policy, and it is always a simple matter to drag people along whether it is a democracy, or a facist dictatorship, or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship. Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. This is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same in every country."
Hermann Goering, Hitler's Reich-Marshall, at the Nuremberg Trials after WWII
Friday, August 13, 2004
Julia Child passed
Julia Child died today. I am not big on cooking, but she was a crack up. I loved watching her and I loved that she lived for so long doing whatever she pleased. This is an excerpt from the article about her passing. Maybe it will be my new way of thinking.
As the trend toward healthy eating grew in recent years, Child accused "health experts" who advised cutting out rich foods like red meat and butter as "nutritional Nazis."
"I think these fake foods aren't worth eating," she said in 1992. "Either have the real thing and a little of it or have something else. I like real hamburgers and real meat, real butter. Eat everything. Have fun."
As the trend toward healthy eating grew in recent years, Child accused "health experts" who advised cutting out rich foods like red meat and butter as "nutritional Nazis."
"I think these fake foods aren't worth eating," she said in 1992. "Either have the real thing and a little of it or have something else. I like real hamburgers and real meat, real butter. Eat everything. Have fun."
Not a donation
People, people, people, when you are tired of your dog and no longer want to care for it, and you call a rescue or shelter to have them take it off your hands, it is not called a "donation". When you call and say that you would like to "donate" your 12 year old dog, you are not giving us a gift, you are abandoning your responsibilities and going back on a commitment to care for that dog for it's lifetime. You have failed. I often wonder why people think that they can do a better job with kids when they can't even care for a dog or cat. But then, some people do leave their children behind bars in shopping carts so I guess people just suck.
Friday, August 06, 2004
Splish Splash
You gotta love puppies, even when they piss you off they are having so much fun doing it.
I picked up a 4 month old puppy to foster yesterday. He is a cute rascal. His mom is a Portuguese Water Dog and his dad is a Lab. He is an active, playful, cuddley little guy with big feet and a shaggy, wirey looking coat that is actually pretty soft. He is black and scruffy looking and his name is Teddy.
Teddy took right to my dogs, and he and my male dog TS decided it was great fun to run circles around the storage building. While I watered the plants my other dogs steared clear of the relay around the building and through the garage, then back around the buiding, etc. When he was tired he came right over and plopped down in the runoff of water from the plants. Thinking he might be thirsty I showed him where the dog waterer was, silly me. He stepped right in and helped himself to a big drink and a big play, then went over and flopped down in the dirt. Uhg. Dirty puppy. Dirty, wet puppy. Oh well, the pet fair isn't until Saturday.
I went back to taking care of things in the garage and around the yard. It was getting late but the boys didn't seem to be slowing down. If anything the trips around and through seemed to have increased in speed. I just happened to glance out at the deck, and wondered how it had gotten so wet...when it dawned on me that Teddy could not have gotten in to that much water from the water bowl. Oh no, he had to have cleared the 3 foot high wall that encloses the fish pond. Sure enough, the ground was soaked, the mallard decoy was askew, and the fish were not pleased.
I wanted to get mad, but it was done and he wouldn't understand anyway. Besides, he looked so happy to have found such a grand source of water. He was, afterall, made for water. Between those 2 parents he could probably smell water 100 miles away. And his natural instinct would make it as hard to keep him out of water as it would to keep a beagle from food. So I smiled, and he leaned against my leg and got his sloppy, smiling face rubbed before I put him to bed.
I picked up a 4 month old puppy to foster yesterday. He is a cute rascal. His mom is a Portuguese Water Dog and his dad is a Lab. He is an active, playful, cuddley little guy with big feet and a shaggy, wirey looking coat that is actually pretty soft. He is black and scruffy looking and his name is Teddy.
Teddy took right to my dogs, and he and my male dog TS decided it was great fun to run circles around the storage building. While I watered the plants my other dogs steared clear of the relay around the building and through the garage, then back around the buiding, etc. When he was tired he came right over and plopped down in the runoff of water from the plants. Thinking he might be thirsty I showed him where the dog waterer was, silly me. He stepped right in and helped himself to a big drink and a big play, then went over and flopped down in the dirt. Uhg. Dirty puppy. Dirty, wet puppy. Oh well, the pet fair isn't until Saturday.
I went back to taking care of things in the garage and around the yard. It was getting late but the boys didn't seem to be slowing down. If anything the trips around and through seemed to have increased in speed. I just happened to glance out at the deck, and wondered how it had gotten so wet...when it dawned on me that Teddy could not have gotten in to that much water from the water bowl. Oh no, he had to have cleared the 3 foot high wall that encloses the fish pond. Sure enough, the ground was soaked, the mallard decoy was askew, and the fish were not pleased.
I wanted to get mad, but it was done and he wouldn't understand anyway. Besides, he looked so happy to have found such a grand source of water. He was, afterall, made for water. Between those 2 parents he could probably smell water 100 miles away. And his natural instinct would make it as hard to keep him out of water as it would to keep a beagle from food. So I smiled, and he leaned against my leg and got his sloppy, smiling face rubbed before I put him to bed.
from friends during work...
This was funny to me, but maybe you have to be able to picture these two trying not to laugh.
Then I got an update:
Amy passed this girl who works here and they almost ran into each other. Amy said excuse me to her and the girl just walked by and ignored her.
So we're sitting in the lunch room eating our yogurt and chit chatting. This girl walks in and she is getting something out of the vending machine kind of bent over and Amy and I both notice (at about the same time) that she has a toilet seat cover stuck in the back of her pants hanging from the waste band. We both look at each other and smile, then our eyes start watering and we're both thinking - should we tell her? does she know? But instead, we decide to let her walk out and as soon as she does, we just bust up. It turned out that it was the same girl who ignored Amy and she decided she didn't wanna say anything to her.
Life is good.
Then I got an update:
The best part is, Amy told some people here what happened and everybody got a pretty good laugh out of it. One girl said that she needed to have closure on the story so she and Amy walked over to see if they could find out who it was. As it turns out, she's a big mucky muck VP in the legal department.
Life is really, really good.
I'm just a girl, afterall...
I got a call on the Jeep last night (I'm selling an '84 CJ7). I've spoken with my Mechanic to make sure how low I should go on it. He says he thinks $5850 but that means I'm willing to go to $5000 if someone offers it. But it's kind of weird. He says he can't believe I still have it, it's in great shape, looks good, it's priced right. Anyway, this guy calls last night and says "you know, bluebook is only $2700, how did you come up with $6000?" so I said "well, I researched what they are ACTUALLY selling for, and asked my mechanic as well as a friend in to Jeeps what they thought I could get for it. Then I looked at the Jeeps that are going for around bluebook and noticed that they don't run so I figured I was right in the right range. You can't really go by bluebooks for cars that are considered classics." So much for treating me like a dumb girl. I hate it when some guys call about cars. I had that with the MG and the Miata as well - I have a weakness for cars, it's a big joke among my friends.
Tuesday, August 03, 2004
Thinking outside the box
When I finish my story you will have another item (or 2) to add to your first aid kit.
I have 4 dogs; Jodie is a 13 year old corgie. She used to be the top dog until about 1 year ago. She hasn't completely let go of the idea. Taylor is a 10 year old choc. lab. She has always been bottom of the ladder. The new top dog is TS, he is a 5 yr old Border Collie (McNab) that is usually pretty gentle as a leader. Lastly is Ekko, the 4 yr old deaf australian cattledog that is second in command. She is really kind of a brat, and gets on Jodies nerve alot. But she's also a sweety. Through the years I've had various scuffles in the pack over position, food, or me. Sometimes someone bleeds. Sometimes Taylor because she's so low on the ladder, sometimes Jodie because she's not ready to get shoved down the ladder.
The other day was different, it was more like road rage in my kitchen. My normally diplomatic Border Collie has an issue with the door bell. I do not know where he developed it, but whenever he hears the doorbell he pounces on one of the lower dogs. He gets some relief evidently from flattening them in his flurry of frustration. The other day someone rang the bell and as I answered the door I heard TS launch in to his search for a trampoline, I told him to knock it off as I opened the door. Then the sound took a different note so I ran back to where he was and yelled that it was ENOUGH and I watched him let Jodie up. I got rid of the people at the door and went back to check on the dogs. Jodie was dripping blood on the kitchen floor, again.
I kicked everyone else out in to the yard and tried to get a good look at Jodie's throat. She has long hair for a corgie, they call then fluffies, she looks like a sheltie with no legs. All I could see was a bloody bit of white fur. Everytime I tried to pull the fur back to get a better look it would kind of run out more and drip on the floor. I knew I needed to get a better look, which meant I needed to clip the fur back. This was another 30 minutes of scissors and clippers and trying to keep Jodie in place. Once I got the area cleared I could see it was still bleeding. I needed to get a somewhat permanent bandage on it just to see if I could get the bleeding to stop. This wasn't an emergency situation yet, but I wanted to make sure it was going to come under control or it would become one.
Paper towels will stick to a wound so I went in search of my gauze. I could not find it. I found the make up pads, which I use to clean the dogs ears. What else would I use them for? Bandaids - do not work for dogs. Minipads. Let's see, I need something to absorb the blood that won't stick to the wound. Well, as long as I fold it back so the sticky part that sticks to everything it ISN'T supposed to stick to is away from her skin it should work just fine. And it did. I put the minipad on the puncture wound, wrapped a bandage around it to hold it in place and in 30 minutes I took it off. The bleeding had stopped and it didn't get reopened by the bandage sticking to it.
TS will be undergoing some reconditioning using a tape recording of the doorbell, Jodie is healing up just fine, and my first aid kit now has a minipad in it. Oh, and don't forget to keep a cigarette there as well. Damp tobacco will pull out the poison from a wasp/bee/hornet sting - I learned that from a nice old man once when I stepped on a wasp in the bottom of my boot. Better get one in there while you can, they're getting harder to find.
I have 4 dogs; Jodie is a 13 year old corgie. She used to be the top dog until about 1 year ago. She hasn't completely let go of the idea. Taylor is a 10 year old choc. lab. She has always been bottom of the ladder. The new top dog is TS, he is a 5 yr old Border Collie (McNab) that is usually pretty gentle as a leader. Lastly is Ekko, the 4 yr old deaf australian cattledog that is second in command. She is really kind of a brat, and gets on Jodies nerve alot. But she's also a sweety. Through the years I've had various scuffles in the pack over position, food, or me. Sometimes someone bleeds. Sometimes Taylor because she's so low on the ladder, sometimes Jodie because she's not ready to get shoved down the ladder.
The other day was different, it was more like road rage in my kitchen. My normally diplomatic Border Collie has an issue with the door bell. I do not know where he developed it, but whenever he hears the doorbell he pounces on one of the lower dogs. He gets some relief evidently from flattening them in his flurry of frustration. The other day someone rang the bell and as I answered the door I heard TS launch in to his search for a trampoline, I told him to knock it off as I opened the door. Then the sound took a different note so I ran back to where he was and yelled that it was ENOUGH and I watched him let Jodie up. I got rid of the people at the door and went back to check on the dogs. Jodie was dripping blood on the kitchen floor, again.
I kicked everyone else out in to the yard and tried to get a good look at Jodie's throat. She has long hair for a corgie, they call then fluffies, she looks like a sheltie with no legs. All I could see was a bloody bit of white fur. Everytime I tried to pull the fur back to get a better look it would kind of run out more and drip on the floor. I knew I needed to get a better look, which meant I needed to clip the fur back. This was another 30 minutes of scissors and clippers and trying to keep Jodie in place. Once I got the area cleared I could see it was still bleeding. I needed to get a somewhat permanent bandage on it just to see if I could get the bleeding to stop. This wasn't an emergency situation yet, but I wanted to make sure it was going to come under control or it would become one.
Paper towels will stick to a wound so I went in search of my gauze. I could not find it. I found the make up pads, which I use to clean the dogs ears. What else would I use them for? Bandaids - do not work for dogs. Minipads. Let's see, I need something to absorb the blood that won't stick to the wound. Well, as long as I fold it back so the sticky part that sticks to everything it ISN'T supposed to stick to is away from her skin it should work just fine. And it did. I put the minipad on the puncture wound, wrapped a bandage around it to hold it in place and in 30 minutes I took it off. The bleeding had stopped and it didn't get reopened by the bandage sticking to it.
TS will be undergoing some reconditioning using a tape recording of the doorbell, Jodie is healing up just fine, and my first aid kit now has a minipad in it. Oh, and don't forget to keep a cigarette there as well. Damp tobacco will pull out the poison from a wasp/bee/hornet sting - I learned that from a nice old man once when I stepped on a wasp in the bottom of my boot. Better get one in there while you can, they're getting harder to find.
Tuesday, July 27, 2004
not about the MM movie
I had a comment about me being incorrect in my blog about the republicans picking and choosing when to rely on the courts and when to scream about the courts deciding for us. I went and read the link the person supplied and I responded that though they are welcome to disagree with me, citing an oped is not "correcting" me.
Then a bigger issue struck me...I was not talking about the movie F9/11 to begin with. I was talking about various aguments I have heard over the past 4 years from both sides about the election past, and the new stance on gay marriage. Personally, I don't care who would have won after the recount - the decision was made and it wasn't one that I agreed with. My point was that the republicans were perfectly happy letting the courts decide that one that ultimately swung their way and now they are afraid they'll lose on gay marriage and they are all up in arms about the courts making a decision "after the people have spoken". Welcome to the club.
Then a bigger issue struck me...I was not talking about the movie F9/11 to begin with. I was talking about various aguments I have heard over the past 4 years from both sides about the election past, and the new stance on gay marriage. Personally, I don't care who would have won after the recount - the decision was made and it wasn't one that I agreed with. My point was that the republicans were perfectly happy letting the courts decide that one that ultimately swung their way and now they are afraid they'll lose on gay marriage and they are all up in arms about the courts making a decision "after the people have spoken". Welcome to the club.
Tuesday, July 13, 2004
your vote vs. the courts
Why is it that the Republicans are all up in arms about the courts over-ruling state votes on gay marriage, that the courts should not be able to override the vote of the people, this is what I keep hearing them say on the radio. That the people have spoken and the courts should not have the power to override that vote. Now, correct me if I'm wrong but isn't that EXACTLY how GW got in to office? How come no one is pointing this out to them when they say these things in public, to the interviewers, on radio and TV and in the press? Seems elementary to me...
Thursday, July 08, 2004
Oh my God, I won!
Ok, background. My english 1A teacher encouraged me to enter an essay contest(I have returned to school after 20 years). I had written an essay assignment about the ratty collars I keep around the house to use on my foster dogs. He felt it was good enough to submit, so I did. The deadline for announcing the winners came and went without me hearing anything, so I figured oh well. It was the first essay I'd written in like 20 years and the only writing contest I'd ever entered so what did I expect anyway. Got a call last night, I am one of the top 4 honors winners. So, encouraged by my friend Julie (No Fancy Name) I am posting the essay in my blog.
Collars and Tags
This worn, dirty collar with its dull, scratched brass tag represents atonement. I’m not sure what I’m striving for is technically a past sin, but to my way of thinking it represents something I need to set right.
Four years ago I started volunteering for a local animal rescue. My work with rescue dogs (homeless dogs in search of a new family) is at least in part to make up for my work at animal shelters. In this time, I have fostered and found homes for nearly 60 dogs and 4 cats. Each one of these animals has stayed in my home until the rescue could find it the right home. If we were wrong, they would come back to our homes. I recycle my old collars and I recycle the unwanted puppies and dogs. Dogs that I foster wear the recycled collars and tags while they are waiting for their permanent homes, for a family to value them more than the last family did. They are the ones that have been cast off by their owners. I want to give these little guys a second chance. A chance that perhaps thousands of other animals didn’t get, because at the shelter I was doing my job. I did a very good job, even from their perspective. You could say, most importantly from their perspective. Each one got a hug and an apology because I truly felt sorry that they ended up with me instead of a cozy spot by the fire. I truly felt it was my responsibility to make it as quick and painless as possible, emotionally as well as physically. There was surely enough fear and confusion in their eyes without me adding to it.
This second chance is one the shelters had even said no to. These are the puppies and dogs that are too shy, too timid, too old, or not socialized well enough. They are the ones that approach slowly or not at all. They sit at the backs of their cages; too afraid to take a chance on those of us who walk by and stare in through the bars. They have been hurt before either by human actions or inaction, and they simply cannot muster the nerve to try again. By these very acts of self-preservation they show themselves to be unsuitable for adoption, and so they are marked for euthanasia. Euthanasia is supposed to provide a humane death. I suppose next to starving to death or bleeding to death, it is more humane. They will be put to sleep (that’s what euthanasia is called in the companion animal trade) if a rescue group doesn’t come along with a little space to give them a second chance.
When I worked for the Humane Society, everyone in the kennels was required to work one day per week in euthanasia. In that one day, you had to put to sleep about 200 cats, 50 to 75 dogs, and various rabbits, chickens and wildlife. There would be good days, when the numbers were lower, but for the most part you averaged 300 animals in a day. If you worked just one day per week in euthanasia like they required, that came out to 1200 animals a month, or over 14,000 animals a year for just one team of two people. Many weeks I worked 2 and 3 days in there because the supervisor thought that my partner and I were the best at what we did. We took it personally. We interacted with each animal. We were fast and efficient, and ultimately humane in our actions and deeds. We felt we owed it to those animals to be in there as long as we could stand it. In some cases we were the most peace that poor animal had known in its short, painful life. You knew that the most peace they felt was being put to sleep by someone that would hold them tight, give them a hug and speak gently to them as they fell asleep, as though each one was our beloved pet. Eventually you run out of tears, but you don’t run out of the feelings.
I did society's dirty work as long as I could. One day I walked away and never went back. Don’t misunderstand me. I regret that what I did before had to be done, but I do not regret that I had to do it. If it hadn’t been me, it would have been someone else. Although it was an unpleasant thing to have to do—to say the least—I still feel that I gave each one of them more of myself than someone else might have. I simply ran out of the part of me that could keep it in perspective, or that could argue the good side of what I was doing.
I know for sure it will never leave me. Twenty years later it sits on the horizon like a black cloud just waiting to roll in with its storm. This time, I make my trips back to the shelter for a different reason. I go in and find some poor little pup, huddled in the back of one of the cages just waiting for something to make its nightmare disappear, and I scoop it up and take it home. We work on the basics, which includes helping it feel OK being held, petted, brushed, fed and being inside the house. It takes such a small amount of positive interaction to start turning the little guys around, developing some security and confidence. Pretty soon you can’t get them to stop climbing on you, running after you, licking your face and “asking” for playtime. It’s amazing how forgiving their little hearts can be. I have helped make the nightmare go away for them, and they for me. Each time I can take one of these little guys and make it OK for them, find them a good home and promise to be there for them if they need me, I atone just a little bit for the darkness in the past. They go on to a new home, with a new collar and tag while I recycle the old one for the next recycled dog. In some way I have tipped the scales a bit closer to in balance.
Collars and Tags
This worn, dirty collar with its dull, scratched brass tag represents atonement. I’m not sure what I’m striving for is technically a past sin, but to my way of thinking it represents something I need to set right.
Four years ago I started volunteering for a local animal rescue. My work with rescue dogs (homeless dogs in search of a new family) is at least in part to make up for my work at animal shelters. In this time, I have fostered and found homes for nearly 60 dogs and 4 cats. Each one of these animals has stayed in my home until the rescue could find it the right home. If we were wrong, they would come back to our homes. I recycle my old collars and I recycle the unwanted puppies and dogs. Dogs that I foster wear the recycled collars and tags while they are waiting for their permanent homes, for a family to value them more than the last family did. They are the ones that have been cast off by their owners. I want to give these little guys a second chance. A chance that perhaps thousands of other animals didn’t get, because at the shelter I was doing my job. I did a very good job, even from their perspective. You could say, most importantly from their perspective. Each one got a hug and an apology because I truly felt sorry that they ended up with me instead of a cozy spot by the fire. I truly felt it was my responsibility to make it as quick and painless as possible, emotionally as well as physically. There was surely enough fear and confusion in their eyes without me adding to it.
This second chance is one the shelters had even said no to. These are the puppies and dogs that are too shy, too timid, too old, or not socialized well enough. They are the ones that approach slowly or not at all. They sit at the backs of their cages; too afraid to take a chance on those of us who walk by and stare in through the bars. They have been hurt before either by human actions or inaction, and they simply cannot muster the nerve to try again. By these very acts of self-preservation they show themselves to be unsuitable for adoption, and so they are marked for euthanasia. Euthanasia is supposed to provide a humane death. I suppose next to starving to death or bleeding to death, it is more humane. They will be put to sleep (that’s what euthanasia is called in the companion animal trade) if a rescue group doesn’t come along with a little space to give them a second chance.
When I worked for the Humane Society, everyone in the kennels was required to work one day per week in euthanasia. In that one day, you had to put to sleep about 200 cats, 50 to 75 dogs, and various rabbits, chickens and wildlife. There would be good days, when the numbers were lower, but for the most part you averaged 300 animals in a day. If you worked just one day per week in euthanasia like they required, that came out to 1200 animals a month, or over 14,000 animals a year for just one team of two people. Many weeks I worked 2 and 3 days in there because the supervisor thought that my partner and I were the best at what we did. We took it personally. We interacted with each animal. We were fast and efficient, and ultimately humane in our actions and deeds. We felt we owed it to those animals to be in there as long as we could stand it. In some cases we were the most peace that poor animal had known in its short, painful life. You knew that the most peace they felt was being put to sleep by someone that would hold them tight, give them a hug and speak gently to them as they fell asleep, as though each one was our beloved pet. Eventually you run out of tears, but you don’t run out of the feelings.
I did society's dirty work as long as I could. One day I walked away and never went back. Don’t misunderstand me. I regret that what I did before had to be done, but I do not regret that I had to do it. If it hadn’t been me, it would have been someone else. Although it was an unpleasant thing to have to do—to say the least—I still feel that I gave each one of them more of myself than someone else might have. I simply ran out of the part of me that could keep it in perspective, or that could argue the good side of what I was doing.
I know for sure it will never leave me. Twenty years later it sits on the horizon like a black cloud just waiting to roll in with its storm. This time, I make my trips back to the shelter for a different reason. I go in and find some poor little pup, huddled in the back of one of the cages just waiting for something to make its nightmare disappear, and I scoop it up and take it home. We work on the basics, which includes helping it feel OK being held, petted, brushed, fed and being inside the house. It takes such a small amount of positive interaction to start turning the little guys around, developing some security and confidence. Pretty soon you can’t get them to stop climbing on you, running after you, licking your face and “asking” for playtime. It’s amazing how forgiving their little hearts can be. I have helped make the nightmare go away for them, and they for me. Each time I can take one of these little guys and make it OK for them, find them a good home and promise to be there for them if they need me, I atone just a little bit for the darkness in the past. They go on to a new home, with a new collar and tag while I recycle the old one for the next recycled dog. In some way I have tipped the scales a bit closer to in balance.
Wednesday, July 07, 2004
personal space, please.
I don't get it. I used to think personal space was a universal, human thing. We all had our "bubble" about arms length around us where others did not tread unless invited. Those close to us could get a bit closer, like whisper close, and then the real close was reserved for very special few. Later, as I spent part of my life in lines in the SF Bay Area it seemed that my space was getting crowded more often. Mostly it seemed to be little asian women that didn't speak english. Given that they were new to America, I decided personal space was an American or European thing and adjusted myself to try to not get too irritable. Maybe it isn't a human thing, maybe it's a cultural thing. You can't be upset with someone if they don't know. Still freaked out and feel imposed upon yes, but that's my thing not theirs.
This theory has eroded over time. I now have no idea where I ever got the idea we were entitled to personal space because any time I'm in public someone invades it. Clearly I was mistaken, I could have SWORN I heard about it in school but I must have imagined it. Yesterday I was nearly speechless. I couldn't say what I wanted to say but I did manage to choke out "excuse me" in my state of disbelief. I was standing in line to order lunch, leaving the required space in front of me so as not to crowd the person ahead of me in line, when I felt someone brushing up against my back. I shifted a little but did not move forward because that would 1. crowd the person in front of me and 2. take up my own breathing room in front. Then I feel someone actually step up in place behind me, front against my back, as though to whisper in my ear from behind - "whisper close" but I had not brought a friend with me to lunch. After I pulled myself together and verified they weren't going to shift back out of position I turned my head, because that was all I could turn without being intimate, and said "excuse me?!"(there is no way to accurately convey my tone with simple punctuation) and the grey haired woman said "oh I'm sorry" like she didn't even realize she had nearly morphed in to my place in line.
I am still trying to figure out if I am over sensitive, they have no boundaries what so ever, or I am actually invisible and it has nothing to do with personal space. There is evidence to support that theory as well but that would be another time and another story...
This theory has eroded over time. I now have no idea where I ever got the idea we were entitled to personal space because any time I'm in public someone invades it. Clearly I was mistaken, I could have SWORN I heard about it in school but I must have imagined it. Yesterday I was nearly speechless. I couldn't say what I wanted to say but I did manage to choke out "excuse me" in my state of disbelief. I was standing in line to order lunch, leaving the required space in front of me so as not to crowd the person ahead of me in line, when I felt someone brushing up against my back. I shifted a little but did not move forward because that would 1. crowd the person in front of me and 2. take up my own breathing room in front. Then I feel someone actually step up in place behind me, front against my back, as though to whisper in my ear from behind - "whisper close" but I had not brought a friend with me to lunch. After I pulled myself together and verified they weren't going to shift back out of position I turned my head, because that was all I could turn without being intimate, and said "excuse me?!"(there is no way to accurately convey my tone with simple punctuation) and the grey haired woman said "oh I'm sorry" like she didn't even realize she had nearly morphed in to my place in line.
I am still trying to figure out if I am over sensitive, they have no boundaries what so ever, or I am actually invisible and it has nothing to do with personal space. There is evidence to support that theory as well but that would be another time and another story...
Tuesday, June 29, 2004
political emails
I am very disturbed by people sending me their political emails. Not the random "support our candidate" emails but the ones from friends and associates that feel compelled to include me in their email list and forward me things like what a wonderful job GW is doing and how under appreciated he is. I do not send them emails asking them to support views I know are not theirs, I do not send them emails that I find humorous based on my political views, that I know would offend them. I don't get up on my political soapbox and preach to them, why must they feel compelled to preach at me? I know it might be important to try to change some peoples minds, but you don't do that by forwarding aggressive emails, you do that by sending factual emails if you must send emails. Personally I only forward those things on to like minded individuals. I'm not big on political confrontation.
Obviously I just got an email. It was forwarded to me by someone I like, however I know our views are very different. I don't send her emails pointing out how lame our current president is, how corrupt he is, how inept he is. I do not feel like I should have to get emails going on about how we should be behind GW in the war in Iraq regardless of the reasons he gave for getting us there, an email that goes on about how Michael Moore's documentary has been all but disproved by the 9/11 committee - hello, what report did you read!? And, I do not like being treated like sheep. If Bush wanted a war in Iraq over the way Saddam was treating the citizens then I may well have signed on for that(although since he didn't give two sh!ts about California during our energy crisis I'm not out of reasons to not support him either). But you don't get to play that card AFTER you drove us to war using the 9/11 conspiracy theory. And another thing, just how does presenting the images of completely anonymous flagged draped coffins returning from Iraq invade privacy? We do not know what individuals are in them and we are not invading a private family service. It is not an invasion of any privacy, it is this administrations way of keeping a human face off of the hard numbers of US soldiers deaths.
Just once I would like to see some more people think for themselves rather than spouting the party line. Do you honestly think GW is doing a good job? Were you living in the same state as me? The same country? How many people do you know that have the same job they did 3 years ago? Are you not hearing more about the whole energy crisis manipulation that GW's buddies ran on us? I would like all of the Republicans that are supporting Bush to ask themselves what they are first, an American or a Republican? Personally I am first an American, second a Californian and third sick and tired of being lied to and manipulated by politicians, be they whatever party. Engage your brains people, open your eyes, hell if necessary ask yourself what you'd feel if he were a Democrat - maybe then you'd give yourselves an honest answer.
Obviously I just got an email. It was forwarded to me by someone I like, however I know our views are very different. I don't send her emails pointing out how lame our current president is, how corrupt he is, how inept he is. I do not feel like I should have to get emails going on about how we should be behind GW in the war in Iraq regardless of the reasons he gave for getting us there, an email that goes on about how Michael Moore's documentary has been all but disproved by the 9/11 committee - hello, what report did you read!? And, I do not like being treated like sheep. If Bush wanted a war in Iraq over the way Saddam was treating the citizens then I may well have signed on for that(although since he didn't give two sh!ts about California during our energy crisis I'm not out of reasons to not support him either). But you don't get to play that card AFTER you drove us to war using the 9/11 conspiracy theory. And another thing, just how does presenting the images of completely anonymous flagged draped coffins returning from Iraq invade privacy? We do not know what individuals are in them and we are not invading a private family service. It is not an invasion of any privacy, it is this administrations way of keeping a human face off of the hard numbers of US soldiers deaths.
Just once I would like to see some more people think for themselves rather than spouting the party line. Do you honestly think GW is doing a good job? Were you living in the same state as me? The same country? How many people do you know that have the same job they did 3 years ago? Are you not hearing more about the whole energy crisis manipulation that GW's buddies ran on us? I would like all of the Republicans that are supporting Bush to ask themselves what they are first, an American or a Republican? Personally I am first an American, second a Californian and third sick and tired of being lied to and manipulated by politicians, be they whatever party. Engage your brains people, open your eyes, hell if necessary ask yourself what you'd feel if he were a Democrat - maybe then you'd give yourselves an honest answer.
Monday, June 28, 2004
oh where has she gone?
I volunteer with a non-profit animal rescue. I foster dogs, I am on the board, I maintain the website, and with the leaving of our Treasurer (sometimes referred to as our "treasure") for the Lone Star State I am now the new best friend of the Dog Team Leader. Don't get me wrong, I like her a lot and couldn't do half the fostering she does/has done, but where oh where has my "treasure" gone? I kid you not, I had 5 calls in a 6 hour period yesterday. It got to the point where I yelled "not again" when the phone rang before I even looked at the caller ID. Granted, I had a major headache and was also trying to study for a midterm the next day, but still. I don't know if our "treasure" actually got all those calls or if it's just that now I get her half as well. Either way, I think her husband should quit that job and they should get their little butts back where they belong, where they were doing some good, where they were making a difference in our lives. Got to go, the phones ringing...
Tuesday, June 22, 2004
summer school was supposed to be fun
I know, that sentence in and of itself is what makes me old. But, I was looking forward to taking both Sociology and Anthropology as television courses. I would tape them, watch them in the evenings or on the weekend, and do my homework. But a programming error on my part with the VCR has set me back a week in Anthropology trying to play catch up. And then even though I've watched the first 4 episodes of Sociology and done the practice tests I have not done any of the essays - 1 for each episode, 250 to 300 words each. Plus, I now need to watch the second 4 episodes, take the practice tests and write the essays. Fortunately I have until the last week of class to turn in all of the essays, but I don't want to be like that. And next week I have a midterm for each of the classes. The midterm for Anthropology is all on an episode I have not even re-taped yet. If it screws up I am equally screwed. Funny thing is, I thought Anthropology would be the more interesting of the 2 and I haven't even been able to do any of it yet. Oh, I just hope I make it through the summer semester somewhat intact. Let that be a lesson to me, if I think it sounds easy it won't be.
Thursday, June 10, 2004
people suck!
Today is one of the days I get to watch the phone lines for the animal rescue I volunteer for, in addition to the daily emails with pictures. People suck. Everyone wants to bail on their pets. "We no longer have the time to give our family dog of five years so we want to do the right thing by him and find him a home that can give him the time and attention he deserves". How altruistic of you. Right, like those exist. What they really mean is "this is way more work than we thought and we're just tired of dealing with it, so we'd like to dump our responsibility on someone else. We don't care that it's traumatic for the dog, we really only care about ourselves anyway and the fun has worn off". Today alone I have 6 dogs that are now looking for new homes - I think the oldest is 5 years old and the youngest is 2 years old. And oh by the way, they need to be gone like yesterday because "we're moving tomorrow, going out of town tomorrow, the landlord found out, etc." whatever makes us think they are the most urgent. And lets not forget that if we can't run right over to their house to pickup the dog - because they couldn't possibly bring them to us or give us some time to make room - it will go to the shelter to be put to sleep and it will be our fault because we didn't take it. Nice rationalization, anyone's fault but your own I say.
Let's be clear, a pet is a commitment for the life of that pet. You make sacrifices like you do with other loved ones, be they children, parents, other relatives or dear friends. A pet is not a toy. You do not get to just get tired of the work and dump it on someone else. Sometimes it will be VERY hard. Sometimes you may have to go home when you want to go out with your friends, because you need to feed the dog and play with the dog since you worked all week - like all of us do by the way. I don't personally know of any rescue people that have the luxury of simply staying home all day to foster unwanted animals. I'm sure they're out there but I don't know any. The ones I know work,may go to school, have families to care for, have their own pets to care for, and now have someone else's pets to care for. If you think you're too busy to take care of your pet, try being the people you're going to abandon them to. Get your head out of the fantasy world that when you dump your pet they get to go to the "perfect home" and live out their lives as all pets should. Hopefully they get a home better than the one that decided they were no longer worth the time and effort but very few will get a perfect home any more than the majority of us had the perfect family.
I'm all over the place in this I know. But I am so tired of not being able to tell these idiots exactly what I think about what they do. Get your head out of your ass and deal with the responsibility you took on - it's not like you got pregnant by accident and had a puppy or kitten - YOU WENT OUT AND GOT IT!!! You made the choice to have it in your life, now deal with it and deal with it the right way you pathetic bunch of losers.
I'm not anywhere near feeling better but at least I did get to pretend yell.
Let's be clear, a pet is a commitment for the life of that pet. You make sacrifices like you do with other loved ones, be they children, parents, other relatives or dear friends. A pet is not a toy. You do not get to just get tired of the work and dump it on someone else. Sometimes it will be VERY hard. Sometimes you may have to go home when you want to go out with your friends, because you need to feed the dog and play with the dog since you worked all week - like all of us do by the way. I don't personally know of any rescue people that have the luxury of simply staying home all day to foster unwanted animals. I'm sure they're out there but I don't know any. The ones I know work,may go to school, have families to care for, have their own pets to care for, and now have someone else's pets to care for. If you think you're too busy to take care of your pet, try being the people you're going to abandon them to. Get your head out of the fantasy world that when you dump your pet they get to go to the "perfect home" and live out their lives as all pets should. Hopefully they get a home better than the one that decided they were no longer worth the time and effort but very few will get a perfect home any more than the majority of us had the perfect family.
I'm all over the place in this I know. But I am so tired of not being able to tell these idiots exactly what I think about what they do. Get your head out of your ass and deal with the responsibility you took on - it's not like you got pregnant by accident and had a puppy or kitten - YOU WENT OUT AND GOT IT!!! You made the choice to have it in your life, now deal with it and deal with it the right way you pathetic bunch of losers.
I'm not anywhere near feeling better but at least I did get to pretend yell.
Tuesday, June 08, 2004
had to go for something simple
This isn't really much of an entry. I was looking through my posts and thought to myself, this is hard to read. So, new template. Now it is easier to read, aside from my writing...
Thursday, June 03, 2004
2005
My friend Nancy sent this to me, and I love it. We don't know where it started or I'd give credit where credit is due, but I can't. In the meantime though, enjoy.
GO FOR IT!
One sunny day in 2005 an old man approached the White House from across
Pennsylvania Avenue, where he'd been sitting on a park bench. He spoke to
the U. S. Marine standing guard and said, "I would like to go in and meet with
President Bush."
The Marine looked at the man and said, "Sir, Mr. Bush is no longer president
and no longer resides here."
The old man said, "Okay" and walked away.
The following day, the same man approached the White House and said to the
same Marine, "I would like to go in and meet with President Bush."
The Marine again told the man, "Sir, as I said yesterday, Mr. Bush is no
longer president and no longer resides here." The man thanked him and,
again, just walked away.
The third day, the same man approached the White House and spoke to the very
same U. S. Marine, saying "I would like to go in and meet with President
Bush."
The Marine, understandably agitated at this point, looked at the man and
said, "Sir, this is the third day in a row you have been here asking to
speak to Mr. Bush. I've told you already that Mr. Bush is no longer the
president and no longer resides here. Don't you understand?"
The old man looked at the Marine and said, "Oh, I understand. I just love
hearing it."
The Marine snapped to attention, saluted, and said, "See you tomorrow."
MAKE IT HAPPEN -- VOTE and get others to vote, too.
GO FOR IT!
One sunny day in 2005 an old man approached the White House from across
Pennsylvania Avenue, where he'd been sitting on a park bench. He spoke to
the U. S. Marine standing guard and said, "I would like to go in and meet with
President Bush."
The Marine looked at the man and said, "Sir, Mr. Bush is no longer president
and no longer resides here."
The old man said, "Okay" and walked away.
The following day, the same man approached the White House and said to the
same Marine, "I would like to go in and meet with President Bush."
The Marine again told the man, "Sir, as I said yesterday, Mr. Bush is no
longer president and no longer resides here." The man thanked him and,
again, just walked away.
The third day, the same man approached the White House and spoke to the very
same U. S. Marine, saying "I would like to go in and meet with President
Bush."
The Marine, understandably agitated at this point, looked at the man and
said, "Sir, this is the third day in a row you have been here asking to
speak to Mr. Bush. I've told you already that Mr. Bush is no longer the
president and no longer resides here. Don't you understand?"
The old man looked at the Marine and said, "Oh, I understand. I just love
hearing it."
The Marine snapped to attention, saluted, and said, "See you tomorrow."
MAKE IT HAPPEN -- VOTE and get others to vote, too.
Are the odds really this bad?
OK, before you read on be forewarned that this is mostly depressing, I think.
Cancer seems to be the word circulating among my friends and acquaintances these days. I have a small group of friends and it is touching us all in some way. Now, my dad died of lung cancer many years ago but he was 1. a smoker and 2. involved in nuclear testing in WWII. And at that time he was the only person I knew with cancer. Fast forward 20 some years and in just the last 6 months-
-my sister in law lost her long battle with breast cancer, she was 52
-my aunt had a reoccurance of her breast cancer, she is 80 and was 72 the first time
-one of the women taking care of my niece (the niece that lost her mother to breast cancer) was diagnosed with breast cancer, she is 50
-one of my best friends childhood friends ( and my acquaintance) is now fighting breast cancer - she went the full mastectomy route and is doing chemo, she is 45
-the same friends co-worker has been diagnosed with breast cancer, and despite going in for a yearly mammogram because her mother died of ovarian cancer and her sister got breast cancer at 19, they did not notice it (it was there for like 4 years unnoticed). She now has it in her lungs and liver so things do not look good. She is in her late 40s I think and has a 19 year old daughter.
-an acquaintance's mother is currently in the hospital with a colon tumor. No one has said cancer yet but I am a bit removed from the immediate situation so it may be. I guess in light of the others my mind goes right to it.
It just seems to me that this word has been coming up a lot lately. I don't know if it's my age and thus the age of my associates, or if there is some increase going on. It seems to be awfully damn close. And the one that bothers me the most is the woman that did the right thing, and though the cancer was growing on the mammogram they didn't catch it. Is it a womans' health care issue? Is it increasing? Am I reaching the age where we just start getting it and seeing it more? 50 isn't old to me. Not even when I was a teenager. And most of the people I hear about are 40s and 50s. Is the planet trying to thin the herd because we keep curing things it throws at us?
Sometimes I actually believe that one. We've done such a good job of protecting those that would normally extinguish themselves through stupidity that the world has had to counter with things much more aggressive. Hmm.
Cancer seems to be the word circulating among my friends and acquaintances these days. I have a small group of friends and it is touching us all in some way. Now, my dad died of lung cancer many years ago but he was 1. a smoker and 2. involved in nuclear testing in WWII. And at that time he was the only person I knew with cancer. Fast forward 20 some years and in just the last 6 months-
-my sister in law lost her long battle with breast cancer, she was 52
-my aunt had a reoccurance of her breast cancer, she is 80 and was 72 the first time
-one of the women taking care of my niece (the niece that lost her mother to breast cancer) was diagnosed with breast cancer, she is 50
-one of my best friends childhood friends ( and my acquaintance) is now fighting breast cancer - she went the full mastectomy route and is doing chemo, she is 45
-the same friends co-worker has been diagnosed with breast cancer, and despite going in for a yearly mammogram because her mother died of ovarian cancer and her sister got breast cancer at 19, they did not notice it (it was there for like 4 years unnoticed). She now has it in her lungs and liver so things do not look good. She is in her late 40s I think and has a 19 year old daughter.
-an acquaintance's mother is currently in the hospital with a colon tumor. No one has said cancer yet but I am a bit removed from the immediate situation so it may be. I guess in light of the others my mind goes right to it.
It just seems to me that this word has been coming up a lot lately. I don't know if it's my age and thus the age of my associates, or if there is some increase going on. It seems to be awfully damn close. And the one that bothers me the most is the woman that did the right thing, and though the cancer was growing on the mammogram they didn't catch it. Is it a womans' health care issue? Is it increasing? Am I reaching the age where we just start getting it and seeing it more? 50 isn't old to me. Not even when I was a teenager. And most of the people I hear about are 40s and 50s. Is the planet trying to thin the herd because we keep curing things it throws at us?
Sometimes I actually believe that one. We've done such a good job of protecting those that would normally extinguish themselves through stupidity that the world has had to counter with things much more aggressive. Hmm.
Wednesday, May 26, 2004
every now and again the sun shines
OK, I was mostly planning on venting on this blog but I find that I need to share a good thing. I work with a rescue and foster young shy dogs until we can find them good homes. I recently had one little girl that was really shy, she would run and cry when you reached for her. But I brought her around and found a REALLY nice family for her. However, they were so nice they didn't know how to show her their strengths, so she ran from them and hid for a full 24 hrs. They were having a really hard time, trying to give her space. I went over and explained to them that giving her space was actually positive reinforcement for her hiding. What they needed to do was get her on a leash, keep her near them, give her lots of love and build her confidence in herself as well as them. I poked a stick at them today for an update and this is what I got:
I love updates like this.
Kate! I was going to call you this week to let you know how well things are going. So far: She's visited the vet, my Mom's house, had an evening walk/carry down Santana Row (lots of attention from sidewalk diners), had her first leash walk, gained a few pounds, and graciously hosted the 2 corgi's who are our house guests (all three growling at first but now playing nicely). She's stuck like glue to me yet still charges sideways if I approach her walking. She's come so far and I expect will be even further along by nightfall. Tonight we're taking her to Princeton (Half moon bay) for dinner out and a walk on the beach. Spoiled? You bet! But still adhering to the Nothing is Free program. I'll call you later in the week. P.S. She sits on command now and doesn't even think about the food bowl going down on the floor until she's sitting. Your advise was so good!
I love updates like this.
Friday, May 21, 2004
Ugly Americans
Are we really so naive that we didn't think our own soldiers were capable of the horrible acts that are coming forward from Iraq? If Americans are capable of beating a transexual American teenager to death, gang raping young girls, killing each other on the streets over "territory" or burning swastikas into the garage doors of Jews or Blacks in our own country why would we ever think terrible acts would not happen during a foreign war against people that follow a different religion? If we are so intolerant of differences at home, why would anyone think we would be tolerant somewhere else? I know there are good people over there fighting for the right reasons, but it was ignorant of us to think there would not be horrific acts carried out by at least some of our own soldiers. And I just love hearing the occasional justification in street interviews that "you know they're doing it to us too" as though that always makes it right. My guess is that if that person were there they would jump right in.
I'm also amazed that our government and military really thinks we are so gullible that we would believe there was no involvement from "higher ups". There may not be anything written down, but the fact that these soldiers had enough freedom and time to carry out these acts says someone was at least looking the other way, which is consent.
We are suppose to rise above our baser human tendencies and strive to be more than we are. We should all know the basics of right and wrong by the time we are old enough to serve in the armed forces. We should be able to control our urges to act in such uncivilized ways. Saying they do it to us is no justification. We are not there to do as they do, we are there to show a better way, a kinder way, a more civilized way if we are to believe what the government tells us.
So, even if the "higher ups" were supposedly not involved in these atrocities, where the hell were they while they were going on? Who was responsible for leading these troops? Who did they report to? Why did these "higher ups" NOT know what their troops were up to? Things like this do not happen in a vacuum. People knew and chose to let it go on, possibly even supporting it outright but certainly endorsing it by inaction.
Spin it how you like, we got caught doing just what someone should have known at least a few of us would do.
I'm also amazed that our government and military really thinks we are so gullible that we would believe there was no involvement from "higher ups". There may not be anything written down, but the fact that these soldiers had enough freedom and time to carry out these acts says someone was at least looking the other way, which is consent.
We are suppose to rise above our baser human tendencies and strive to be more than we are. We should all know the basics of right and wrong by the time we are old enough to serve in the armed forces. We should be able to control our urges to act in such uncivilized ways. Saying they do it to us is no justification. We are not there to do as they do, we are there to show a better way, a kinder way, a more civilized way if we are to believe what the government tells us.
So, even if the "higher ups" were supposedly not involved in these atrocities, where the hell were they while they were going on? Who was responsible for leading these troops? Who did they report to? Why did these "higher ups" NOT know what their troops were up to? Things like this do not happen in a vacuum. People knew and chose to let it go on, possibly even supporting it outright but certainly endorsing it by inaction.
Spin it how you like, we got caught doing just what someone should have known at least a few of us would do.
Thursday, May 20, 2004
eyes on the road...
not on your mascara, not on the morning paper, and not on the accident on the other side of the road. I can't believe there is all of this controversy over cell phone use in cars and no one is doing squat about the makeup ladies, the paper boys and the multitude of lookyloos. I know there are plenty of people that can't walk and chew gum at the same time, let alone talk and drive. But what I see most morning is so much worse. In my short 17 miles to work I saw a woman on the freeway, in the fast lane, driving the rate of traffic which was about 50mph, with her visor mirror down using both hands to apply her mascara. How exactly do you drive and avoid causing an accident that way? We were all just lucky that she didn't need to respond to anything until her more important task was done. Then there was the electician van on the expressway which evidently had an urgent need to catch up on the daily newspaper, and not while we were stopped at a light - which is bad enough since they never see the light turn green. He was actually using both hands to hold the paper in front of the wheel as he drove and read. (I actually honked at that guy and told him to put the fucking paper down and drive. I'll get myself shot someday probably.) This is not multitasking, people. Driving is multitasking. You control the momentum of your vehicle, the direction of your vehicle, you watch other vehicles, you listen for emergency vehicles, you watch for children and pets that move suddenly and unpredictably, and you pay attention to those around you.
I heard on the news yesterday that there is a bill being proposed that would make it a traffic offense to be caught changing the station on the radio, talking to a pet or child in the car, or using your phone. First offense will be a $35 fine. I would have hoped we wouldn't have to get so specific about what you can't do when driving. I would have hoped driving while distacted and not having your eyes on the road and your vehicle under your immediate control would have been enough - God knows cops take enough liberties as it is why not that as well, but that is a whole 'nother rant. Now it seems that we will list what you can't do. What that means to me is that none of the people I encountered today will pay a fine for their actions because some lawyer will challenge the law based on what isn't listed outright.
I am not some stick in the mud fuddy duddy that drives just below the limit to make sure I'm safe. I do stupid things sometimes when I shouldn't but come on people!! Get your collective heads out of your asses and get your eyes on the task at hand, driving your cars.
I heard on the news yesterday that there is a bill being proposed that would make it a traffic offense to be caught changing the station on the radio, talking to a pet or child in the car, or using your phone. First offense will be a $35 fine. I would have hoped we wouldn't have to get so specific about what you can't do when driving. I would have hoped driving while distacted and not having your eyes on the road and your vehicle under your immediate control would have been enough - God knows cops take enough liberties as it is why not that as well, but that is a whole 'nother rant. Now it seems that we will list what you can't do. What that means to me is that none of the people I encountered today will pay a fine for their actions because some lawyer will challenge the law based on what isn't listed outright.
I am not some stick in the mud fuddy duddy that drives just below the limit to make sure I'm safe. I do stupid things sometimes when I shouldn't but come on people!! Get your collective heads out of your asses and get your eyes on the task at hand, driving your cars.
Tuesday, May 18, 2004
gas protests
I got an email forwarded today asking me to not buy gas on Weds, May 19, to stick it to the oil companies for charging us so much. Here is an excerpt from it:
I just had to reply to the sender, and we went back and forth a few times with this being my final answer:
I'm all for taking action for something you believe in, but make it an action that will have results. And think it through when someone sends you something instead of just jumping on the bandwagon. I am not a genius, so it should be easy for the average person to figure out that no reduction in consumption means no reduction in profit.
BUY NO GAS ON MAY 19th!!
DON'T BUY GAS ON MAY 19TH IT HAS BEEN CALCULATED THAT IF EVERYONE IN THE UNITED STATES DID NOT PURCHASE A DROP OF GASOLINE FOR ONE DAY AND ALL AT THE SAME TIME, THE
OIL COMPANIES WOULD CHOKE ON THEIR STOCKPILES. AT THE SAME TIME IT WOULD HIT THE ENTIRE INDUSTRY WITH A NET LOSS OF OVER 4.6 BILLION DOLLARS WHICH AFFECTS THE BOTTOM LINES OF THE OIL COMPANIES.
I just had to reply to the sender, and we went back and forth a few times with this being my final answer:
Why do people not get that this will not make a difference?! They may not get their 4.6 billion tomorrow but if you still drive they will get it today or Thursday and they don't care if they don't see it tomorrow - 2.3 billion additional on their books for Tuesday and Thursday looks just the same at the end of the month. The only way to really impact their profit is to say nobody drive Weds - then your consumption goes down, you buy less, they make less. I don't need gas tomorrow anyway so I automatically play along by default but do you see that since you need gas today you are simply giving them their money early? Or if you wait until Thursday to fill up you give it to them a day later?
I'm all for taking action for something you believe in, but make it an action that will have results. And think it through when someone sends you something instead of just jumping on the bandwagon. I am not a genius, so it should be easy for the average person to figure out that no reduction in consumption means no reduction in profit.
killed the cat
Evidently we had a young mountain lion wander into town in Palo Alto yesterday, and after a day long search where they found the young cat up a tree, chased there by a black lab, they decided he was such a threat that they couldn't wait for the tranq gun and so shot him fromthe tree. And he was such a serious threat that when he fell from the tree he tried to hide. I heard kids on KGO this morning saying they could have found another way. Evidently kids are the only ones that still try to find a compassionate solution in a crisis.
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